Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
reigning_chimp 29 day.agoMy 5yo son asked me what I was making for lunch and I said “a chicken wrap”. He then asked me “How do you make a chicken wrap?” I said without pause “You give it a funky beat”. My best work and it went straight over his head. No one else was there to hear.
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Shits and giggles
Even the Pope is now made in America
St. Peter asks the nurse to spell cat. She does so with no trouble. St. Peter asks the teacher to spell dog. He does so with no trouble. St. Peter then asks the used car salesman to spell Chrysanthemum.
but at least it won’t take up too much of your time.
After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. THAT was my car, I had filled a strangers gas tank. Wearily I walked back to the station. "You know," the attendant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here "
St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough. OK." So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Then peering at the old man he asked, "What did you do for a living?" The old man replied, "I was a carpenter." Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked. "Yes, I had a son, but I lost him." Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?" "Well, he had holes in his hands and feet." Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?" The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"
They yelled “no I didn’t pay for my haircut!”
Snackdown
Remains to be seen.
Two friends, doctors both, used to have a weekly lunch. They got into the habit of discussing cases in case they could learn something new from each other. At lunch, the first doctor said, "I had an unusual case today. A man came in with syphilis of the foot." "Mine was unusual too," said the second doctor. "I had a woman come in with athlete's vagina."
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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